Don’t Idealize Relationships
Counselling helps to recover
Recovering from traumatic relationships can take a while. Sometimes people just have to learn to live with their painful memory.
Relationships can be stagmatized by emotional prejudice and beliefs such as “People should like me, I am not good enough, Sacrifice yourself for others,…” cause lots of harm. This stigma impacts individuals (mostly females) and they stay in abusive and traumatic relationships.
Beliefs can be so strong and destructive that they overpower rational thinking. They allow to develop bounds, emotional attachments in a toxic romance. Consequently, people struggle to see through this traumatic emotional attachments, or even they resist to change a pathological relationship.
Too good to be real is a story of two women who were eventually able to finish their relationships with an abuser. It may be about an extreme case of psychological manipulation and abuse (called gaslighting).
Gaslighting a state when a victim becomes a self-destroyer, when they question their own memory, perception and sanity. It’s a combination of controlling behaviour of a “predator” and their assaults, threats, humiliations and other forms of abuse which strengthen their victim’s traumatic bound.
If we want to understand a relationship we should understand ourselves and have self-knowledge about two things: 1. what emotional attachments we create and we have with a partner (in any relationship) & 2. what beliefs we have that reinforce this relationship.