Online counselling. Counselling to improve feelings. Accepting the feelings – Ivana Straska
Accepting the feelings

Accepting the feelings

autumn_leaves Accepting of one’s feelings is necessary for self-acceptance

Often we feel ashamed, embarrassed or guilty once we recognize our unwanted or undesirable emotions. We push them and suppressed them hoping they won’t reaper. Unfortunately, our emotions don’t work that way. On the surface we might think we got rid of not welcomed feelings but emotions are only place in a different level of awareness. Sooner or later they find the way back and many time in more complex unpleasant emotions. Accepting the feelings is more wise and it takes less effort than denying or suppression.

Accepting the feelings prevents accumulation of unwanted feelings and recurring suppressed emotions.

After we fully accept our feelings we save a lot of additional distress and we can use the energy to constructive thoughts to generate positive emotions. Nature has given us a sophisticated guidance in our emotional awareness and intelligence. Emotions provide valuable information that something in our life is good when we feel pleasure or something goes wrong when we feel emotional pain. 

Accepting emotions

Negative feelings call our attention to things which are not healthy or good for us by telling us there is something out of balance. Our good feelings message that we experience something meeting our goals and pleasant emotions “encourage” us to continue doing what we do because it feels good.

Accept and identify the feelings

Accepting the feelings starts that we identify them as soon as we notice them. We want to be honest, truthful and name the feelings once we realize them. The more specific we are the more accurate message we get. We can experience secondary or primary emotions and while we track their triggers we know more. Anger is common secondary emotion of frustration or fear. 

Accepting unwanted emotions

Challenging parts of accepting emotions are our beliefs and when emotions conflict with our beliefs. We might criticize them because our thinking tells we shouldn’t feel the way we do or there’s something wrong with us when we feel.For example judgmental beliefs system might trigger guilt when we catch anger with our limited relative suffering with dementia. 

Accepting the feeling and reflecting their truthfulness doesn’t mean that we are going to feel unwanted emotions forever. Emotions are temporally states and they have beginning and end. When we increase emotional awareness the process of accepting emotions is quick. 

Accept the feelings if you don’t want them to escalate to more difficult distress.

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