Online counselling. Counselling to improve feelings. Narcissistic paradox – Ivana Straska
Narcissistic paradox

Narcissistic paradox

Narcissistic paradox is that narcissists are popular yet they are not a good people to be around.


There are all sorts of paradoxes in the ways narcissists behave and perceived by others.

Narcissistic paradox # 1 They look, sound and move better than the others at first acquaintance. The cues they produce people use to select and form an impression without any further information about that person.

What cues are they broadcasting?

Narcissistic paradox # 2 At first sight narcissists are more liked than non-narcissists. In the series of studies comparing narcissists to non-narcissists they: exhibited neater look, displayed showier appearances, used more charming facial expressions, presented more self-confident body movement, used more humorous verbal expressions, talked in a more confident tone, exhibited sense of entitlement, wore more fashionable clothes and were more trendy.

Meet them only once to like them. Don’t work with them, don’t make friendship with them, avoid them.

Narcissistic paradox # 3 They are liked at first impression and they fail to create long term-relationships. Narcissists don’t play well with others and this becomes clearer in the long-term.
Narcissists don’t tend to do well in abiding relationships and they hide all sorts of personal and interpersonal problems. When they are found out they are avoided since few people will put up with self-absorbed, authoritarian, arrogant, abusive individuals.

Narcissistic paradox  # 4 At first meeting they are rated agreeable, open, competent, entertaining, stable and even conscientious. If they are put in a team by other team members they are assessed arrogant, hostile, cold, disagreeable, manipulative, self-absorbed. What a contrast to what the group members think of the very same narcissistic individuals on a first impression.

Narcissistic paradox # 5 Their authoritarianism, self-absorption, self-admiration, arrogance, superiority and manipulation are not reveled immediately. Only some people put up with narcissists. Narcissism involves high level of self-esteem, self-confidence, grandiosity and entitlement that are worshiped by others.

Narcissistic paradox # 6 Behaving selfishly seems to bring narcissists a rush of admiration which they get addicted to. While devaluing others when the inevitable rejection comes, covering it up by searching out new people to worship them they satisfy dependency on admiration.

Hm, does society have God Complex, Martyr Complex, Hero Complex, Superiority Complex, Inferiority Complex and adore narcissists?

There is a lot of variability amongst narcissistic traits in terms how they are expressed. Statistically trends show a steady increase in narcissism and hostility in popular music, entertainment business, social media, politics, marketing to name some. Is it the next narcissistic paradox?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *